I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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