Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize