worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize