you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
