if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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