All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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