i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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