What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you will always have a special place in my vag
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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