Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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