Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
