But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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