youre lurking in front of me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Everclear isn't food dammit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
