i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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