I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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