I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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