so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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