If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
