I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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