you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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