Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
