spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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