wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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