Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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