Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
