Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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