All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize