Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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