i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
