Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
