Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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