He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
