One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
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eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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