i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
