I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
