Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you never un-have a 4some
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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