That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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