FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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