The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
