Banned from zoo.
Again?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
