Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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