I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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