Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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