I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
