dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if only i could text you this smell
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
