Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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