I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize