Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
