Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
