I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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