You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize