Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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