I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
