yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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