AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
