What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
