I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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