whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
