We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
